Historia De La Fleez
A: a short biography of an ever evolving musical sideshow.

B: a true movie of the week style docu-drama of a band

C: a real b*llsh*t story of one bands rise to semi fame

D: all of the above
Where does one begin...let's start a the beginning...what a
novel concept...long ago in a galaxy far...oops...never mind

The FLEEZ family patriarchs Ima and Weeza FLEEZ were immigrants in the truest sense of the word...they immigrated to Germany in the usual manner...they were kicked out of town...Fleezylvania...a gypsy suburb of nearby Transylvania..not to be mixed up with Spotsylvania
or any other "Ainia" that is predominately gypsy populated
they were a mixed marriage...Weeza with long flowing red hair and pale white skin, almost girlish in appearance...Ima
with bright blue eyes and short blonde hair, a manly woman if you know what I mean...this odd couple were looked upon by their fellow dark haired dark eyed countrymen as well...odd...it would seem that the milkman scenario fit well into their story as well as it does in our modern day life...Ima and Weeza fled their country and settled into a pitiful existence in a "flea" ridden squatters flat...she as a seamstress and he as a guitar maker..........
funny how that ties together...fleas...FLEEZ.......................


The FLEEZ would scrape together what money they had and every Friday and Saturday go to a club in the Reeperbahn...the Reeperbahn was  notorious as a street of strip clubs, peep shows, and sex theaters...somehow Ima and Weeza felt at home...probably due to the fact that their gypsy upbringing exposed them to many views of the seedy side of life....Well one night at the Kaiser Keller... The FLEEZ, as they were soon being called by the locals,
probably as that was their name...They were soon entertaining the crowds with their own musical renditions of gypsy classics...such as I got a curse on you...or was it a spell on you...I hear you knocking, but you can't come in...
oops..sorry, that was what they sang to the landlord...well
back to the story...Ima was scatting (i believe scatting is a precursor to rap but with a creative intent of your own...)
a tune that was running through her head...I believe the working title was " Love me do you"...well low and behold there was this group of young English lads who said they were musicians...also named after a bug I believe...Beagles
???Beamles????Ruttles?????...something like that...well they heard her scatting and in their hurry to get good seats
one of the boys split his pants...I believe his name was..... Peter...fell out of his chair...I mean Paul???...or maybe Mary???...as they had long hair for the times...it was...... questionable...the young lad had split his peg down trousers right in the fly...hey another bug reference...Well as Ima was a seamstress, and had worked on a few fly's in her time...she quick as a whip stitched those pants back together...and this act of kindness paid off as the boy's had
an extra ticket back to England...Weeza being a guitar maker showed the boy's some weird augmented chords and this cemented their friendship...so much so that the boys wrote a song for Ima and Weeza FLEEZ... I believe it was called..."They have a ticket to ride"...................................

                            
So off they went to England...Ima made new suits for the
lads as they looked very teddy boyish and needed to spiff up their image...Weeza being a guitar tech/roadie (the first one of his kind i believe) went to work for the ladds from Liverpool...well they got to England and started to travel to gigs with this new British sensation...they toured all the towns with long standing musical reputations, they called it "The Musical History Tour"...well boys will be boys and Ima always looking like one, and the times being what they were...the FLEEZ started experimenting with drugs....
Ima took some experimental animal drugs that were for rabbit proliferation..she said they gave a great buzz..but you wanted to, as she put it, "shake the sheets all the time",you get the drift...they made you eat all the time Weeza said, she"ate days a week", one after another... well Ima found out she was pregnant with twins just as they boys had passed their audition and scored a couple of number one hits...The Lads wanted them to travel to New York City where they were invited to play on television...
well never having flown(except on drugs)they were apprehensive...the flight went without incident...............
Upon arrival in New York they were whisked off to Manhattan's Warwick Hotel where they prepared for the big event...everything was going well and the lads were onstage at the big show hosted by Ed Sullivan...Ima unbeknownst to Weeza or the boys went into labor in the wings of the theatre, right as the last note of a song called "I want to give you a hand"...There was a wail the likes no one had heard before...the sweetest spine shivering..brain freezing..stop you dead in you tracks note...and Ed Izza(a traditional gypsy middle name)FLEEZ was born...one blink later and wham bam thank you m'am out popped Fred Izza
FLEEZ...Weeza came out of the orchestra pit and was so dumbfounded he shouted at the top of his lungs.................. ALL RIGHT!!!!...on a sad note the boys were co-joined in a sensitive area...three days later in a world record setting surgery of one snip and two screams they were separated thank to noted surgeon Dr. P.E.Ennis... from the first moment of their un-joined lives the FLEEZ boys did everything together...if you look real close you will see they each breathe in and out on the odd (Fred) and even (Ed) ticks of the clock...amazing...they slept together in the same bed...ate from the same spoon and were potty trained, well you get the idea...even though physically separated they had a bond that only co-un-joined twins can have...they were musical soul brother's in the strongest sense of the word...in later years they would tell anyone who would listen, that someday they would become famous musicians just like their Godfather's from that far English shore............................................................ 


On their christening day the boys were given handmade guitars by Poppa FLEEZ...ones that he had made especially for the lads from Liverpool...Ed received a bass guitar---dubbed the violin bass and Fred received a six string---it was named Rick, as that was the first word he spoke after he mastered ALL RIGHT!!!...Well the years flew by (2 or 3)
and the FLEEZ that although life with the lads was fun, they wanted to see the colonies again...the lads had decided to give up touring and had weird religious practices (see Mahareeshi Mahesh Mayogi or groping young starlets from Hollywood )...they also picked up and began consorting with 2 odd,  non-singing women...Ima and Weeza decided that leaving was best, before things became rotten like an apple, so off to New York they flew...Upon arrival they went to Grand Central Station, since most FLEEZ don't travel alone well they ended up lost in the station...Ima was puking her guts up as she was pregnant again...she figured that she had gotten pregnant right after the all night blow out with the Stones band..."you know the drummer was cute", she used to say--
--with a wink----Weeza was not a jealous man, "he was always faithful" , as his friend Marianne used to say...well Weeza bought tickets for what he thought was Springfield Massachusetts...as they boarded the train they took one last look at New York, Ed said "Hey Mom can I get a bite of that big apple"...the train headed westward and The FLEEZ pasted the trip in an eventful way, Ed had learned to slap his bass in time with the sound that the tracks made, and Fred had picked out every song that driver knew.....I believe his name was Robert Mac Ghee, just Fred picking, Ed slappin' and Robert Mac Ghee...Well All Right!!!!!

As Weeza was making his rounds through the  animal stalls (he had a passing intrust in animal husbandry) word
was brought to him by the porter that his wife was in labor...someone said Weeza screamed "Hey porter" ... Dr. Love delivered a healthy baby boy to Ima and she named him Terrence Watts Izza FLEEZ...He was a mouthful, his name was to much for Ed and Fred so it was just Terry from there on...Ed said "We FLEEZ now have a drummer"...
Onward they rolled ever westward toward Springfield Massachusetts???????(FLEEZ are not known for map skills)
Then on the third day the train shuddered to a stop and The Familia De La FLEEZ embarked on the platform and drew in their first breath of Springfield air...Springfield, Ohio that is...with a "WHAT THE f**ck" from poppa FLEEZ they stood and admired their lovely new homeland, having since acquired this new attitude due to lack of money for the return trip to the proper destination.......................

Poppa and Momma FLEEZ as they were now known by their growing family of FLEEZ settled into the local Springfield life like..well fleas to a dogs butt, they burrowed in and held on for dear life...Poppa went to work for a local piano making company, Momma said he was always tuning up the landladies instrument...Momma went to work at the Hackett Produce Company, she sewed the potato sacks together...making full use of her seamstress skills whenever any of the workers pants went down...for repairs
The money was tight but the sound of music resonated from the hills around the FLEEZ...so much so that a noise ordinance(maybe the first of it's kind) was enacted to limit the fun till 10:00 at night... the neighbors were always calling about the music... Ed thumping the bass, Fred picking the guitar and little Terry pounding..............
you know the drums...one of the favorites of the people in their building must have been "Shut The F**ck Up" as someone would always request it...Momma said she didn't recognize the title but if someone could hum a few bars, she would try it....A few years passed and the fledgling FLEEZ honed their music skills...one day Momma announced that they were going to the fair to see this new guy that was a great musician, to further the young FLEEZ musical growth...his name was Ellis Parsley( hey we could play music, not spell, you haven't heard about ANY schools yet have you )...Legend has it that he swiveled his hips so much that he had his zipper blown many a time...well Momma was hired right after the show and proceeded to make him a rhinestone jumpsuit...the FLEEZ boys got to meet the band and jammed with them until Momma was done with "The King", as he liked to be called..................


..............Nine months later momma gives birth to a bouncing baby boy, literall bouncing as she gave birth to him at the local Rike's Department Store....she bounced the newest FLEEZ right onto the mattress display....Larry Izza FLEEZ was given a heroes welcome by the cops who escorted Momma and the new brother out of the store and into a waiting ambulance, as the siren wailed little Larry sang his first note...as sweet as Tupelo honey, it was as rich as a peanut butter nanner sandwich....A singer the likes the world has never known had arrived....................
Time passed and the FLEEZ worked their music magic on who ever would listen...They learned dance steps to accompany their unique sound, they loved Motown, but they found their influences from all over the music world...
Ed found his muse in Stanley Clarke's music, Fred joined a weird cult that worshipped at the feet of guitarist/writer
John Hiatt( or God as Fred calls him ), Terry found his inspirations in the thrashings of the great Canadian drum legend Neil Peart and little Larry found his voice in styles as diverse as Judy Garland, Porter Wagoner and Rock and Roll King Gary Glitter...........But something was missing.......
That something appeared on the doorstep one summer's day...a young man with a carrot top hairdo and a guitar case slung over his shoulder pounded on the FLEEZ door...he was about the age of Ed and Fred, he looked up and said matter of factly "Are you the mother f**#ing FLEEZ"....Momma passed out cold and Poppa said "well I'll be the man who sold the world...you look like a freaking space oddity boy"..
Once Momma came around, the FLEEZ sat and stared at the creature from another world...Poppa told us a deep dark family secret of how Momma and he had separated while in England when they were young...It was during the burned out druggie years...Momma had left to join the circus as a seamstress and had traveled with a musical troupe, " The Spiders From Mars". (always these bug references!)...In her yearlong fling she had met a young lad named David and had eventually given birth to a boy she named Michael... he was her little "Starman" from a galaxy far away or something to that drug addled effect...Poppa said "This cuts my heart like a Bowie Knife but I am a reasonable man"... The FLEEZ as FLEEZ were known to do, spoke as one  .........................."ALL RIGHT".........................................


Michael Ronson Bowie Izza FLEEZ was welcomed into their house...Poppa was not thrilled but he was won over by Michael's handsome bank account from his real father???...
Soon the brothers FLEEZ came together and discovered that Michael's hair was not really red but was an after affect from the incident wherein he had played the lost guitar chord that killed  The Yardbirds Keith Relf...At that moment he was never quite the same, some folks still see him " As a lad insane"........The FLEEZ were now complete and set their nose to the grindstone and the creative period that ensued musically was one that was not seen in ages.....the music poured out of the boys from the youngest Larry to the eldest Ed/Fred, Terry was always found to be pounding..new rhythm that is....They took extreme measures to be creative and no instrument was left out, the accordion, the tin whistle, you name it they played it...
Mr G. Martin produced their magnum opus in his little 4 track studio, making wonderful discoveries with recording technique...The "Off White Album" as it was called hit the stores backed by Michael's bank roll...It was too late to title it as nobody could agree on the production and writing credits...Already the seeds of discontent were being planted...Then as if the gods themselves had ordained, the little record that could, took off...a fluke playing of the single "Revolution Number 29" caused the record to sky rocket out of control and soon the FLEEZ were catapulted to stardom...Border to border, Indiana to Pennsylvania to Kentucky to ..uh..you know, that one up north, got a pond named after it...............GO BUCKS......................................
Then disaster struck...while giving an interview on the local Hog Report Hour, the FLEEZ were being backed into a corner by tough questions with big words in them...Ed was the first to crack under the intense pressure of stardom....
He blurted out," We're bigger than the Dalai Lama"...Well the sh*it hit the FLEEZ...soon after that at county fairs all over the tri-state region, the "Off White Album" was being burnt...The FLEEZ were being hung in effigy...The President himself...of the local rotary club denounced them as hooligans, extremists, and free thinkers...it was ugly...The record dropped from the charts like a turd into Buck Creek Reservoir...The FLEEZ tried to apologies but to no avail, Ed even joined a local Zen Buddhist temple at Yellow Springs..
but that was seen as only damage control...Then the worst thing happened, so devastating that no one could foresee as the tragedy unfolded...Momma and Poppa FLEEZ were run off the road by a radical terrorist group linked to the killing of Marilyn Monroe, (see K.N.A.D. file)...Tragically they did not survive..........................................................

...Please pause 2 minutes before reading any farther as a...  ......... moment of respect for Ima and Weeza FLEEZ..........


.......................Wow that was a long 2 minutes......................                                           
This was too much .....and sadly...... the family FLEEZ......... disintegrated...Brother left brother and went their separate ways...to the farthest reaches of the earth, what madness...A few years went by..............................................
Ok a lot years, then the "Brothers De La Fleez" were contacted by an attorney...A remake of one of their classic songs, by one of the greatest bands of all time, was in the works...Casey and the Sunshine Band wished to redo the FLEEZ classic "That's the way I like it, Yeah,Yeah,Yeah." .......The FLEEZ met at the attorney's offices of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe...Blood being blood they hugged, they cried , and said sweet things, to the attorney who made out the royalty checks...Oh yeah they decided to get back together and milk this disco sh**t for all it was worth...Soon they were playing all the big venues...Cario,
Ohio...Paris,Ohio...London,Ohio...and the money rolled in...
Everyone was so handsome in their matching white polyester leisure suits and matching black shirts and slick polymeric evershine shoes...The women dropped like flies when the FLEEZ came to town...They were the sh**t...Well
the years passed and disco died and heavy rock was the flavor of the week...The spandex was tight and the mascara flowed, the big hair ruled...The FLEEZ even dabbled in OZZY worship, The FLEEZ as all FLEEZ do adapted, and then came Grunge...Flannel was the least favorite clothing choice, but it was comfy...Soon The FLEEZ were whining about their lives with the best of them, but this to faded...The FLEEZ worked on and on...Then one day Larry came home and said "you got to hear this."...He put on Run DMC and Aerosmith's "Walk This Way"...Soon Larry was rhyming and styling and spitting lines rapid fire...He took to calling himself "Tootsie Roll" as M&M was taken... The FLEEZ were soon a posse and were working the game, but this to was not making them happy...They felt empty and hollow, they were searching for an identity, they were adrift(???)...Then the eldest FLEEZ, Ed, said "HEY LET'S BE THE FLEEZ, THE REAL DEAL FLEEZ"...What a novel concept
(haven't we heard that before???)...The idea took hold, as it was evident all along...The FLEEZ now play all types of music, but FLEEZ style..."WE ARE FAMILY, WE ARE THE FLEEZ, I'VE GOT ALL MY BROTHER'S WITH ME, WE ARE THE FLEEZ."...The sky parted, Venus and Mars are "ALL RIGHT TONIGHT."...The FLEEZ, just like the Judy Garland movies of old, broke into song..........."I got to be me, I got to be me....what else can I be but a FLEEZ..........................................



                                                                           















                           
The Historia De La FLEEZ
"LONG LIVE THE FLEEZ"
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